Let’s Talk About Limiting Beliefs.
We all have those thoughts that creep in and tell us we are not good enough, that we should be doing more, and that compare us to others around us. Intrusive thoughts come in and out as our brain filters information subconsciously and consciously. When the intrusive thoughts and limiting beliefs begin to become your automatic narrative and beliefs, it may be time to ask for help.
So where do these thoughts come from, and whose thoughts are they anyway? We claim them as our own, but most of the time our limiting beliefs and intrusive thoughts come from years of conditioning, subliminal messaging from the media, societal standards, stigmas, norms, and unpleasant judgments others have told ourselves and that we have repeated over and over again in the mirror and our head. As Mike Dooley states “ thoughts become things, choose good ones.”
Our brain is constantly working to put together stories of who we are and understanding the world around us, navigating topics of importance, truth, and our identity. The amygdala is our emotional control center, and its core job is to keep us safe from danger and harm. It stores all of the hurtful things people have said about us, all of our traumas ( Big T traumas and Little T traumas,) and significant events to prevent us from future harm or hurt. Our amygdala retains environmental factors such as types of rooms, smells, or facial expressions. It remembers phrases and comments that hurt us previously and then uses that information in the future to warn us of potential danger.
Working with a licensed therapist who utilizes a methodology called CBT or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is one proven way to combat these limiting beliefs and intrusive thoughts. With the use of CBT, we learn how to notice when situations trigger unpleasant thoughts and or emotions, and the automatic thoughts and behaviors that arise, and then dispute and challenge those thoughts and narratives.
Another limiting belief that working with a licensed therapist can help address are thinking errors or cognitive distortions. Some common cognitive distortions are all-or-nothing thinking, “shoulds” and magical thinking. Practicing mindfulness is another tool to reduce the power cognitive distortions and intrusive thoughts have on you by using the power of returning to the present moment and the truth of that present moment. Anxiety arises when we are living in the future and/or the past. When you are in the present moment, you can find peace.
When intrusive thoughts arise, remind yourself they are automatic and not your fault and empower yourself knowing you have control of your brain and the stories you tell yourself. Know that you are not alone, and intrusive thoughts are normal. While intrusive thoughts are harmless if they are affecting your quality of life, or engagement in activities such as school, work, and play, know you always can reach out to a professional and gain support on this journey. Having intrusive thoughts does not mean you are a bad person, or that something is wrong, it just means your brain is doing its job to protect you… but maybe a bit too good. You can remind it that you are safe, and in control of your own story.
With Love,
Rebecca Galdo, LCSW, LICSW
